Do you love yourself?

Do you love yourself? If you do love yourself, are you doing the things that you love? Are you spending time with the people that are right for you? Are you in the situations that are good for you?

These are the questions I want to consider and make choices accordingly. If I choose to love myself, then I must choose the things, the people, and the situations that are good for me and reaffirm my self-love.

Just thinking out loud on paper, rather electronic medium…

The day is winding down. My mind is a bit all over the place, more than usual, and I'm trying to pull my day together and think about some lessons learned. Some days I get things so clearly, and other days, I find myself stuck or falling into old patterns and thoughts. Sometimes all in the same day. But I can respect the struggle and just do my best. And count my blessings. If the worst thing in my day, was trying not to invite someone to catch me outside…I'm doing alright, there are bigger issues happening in the world. So I'm fine in the grand scheme of things. But here we go.

As I continue on this journey of self, I seek to shed outside influences and live inside of myself and unaffected by the outside world and weather. But today, my emotional pattern matched the weather pattern. I started off a little gloomy and caught myself thinking about a past person and going down that road in my mind. But I got to work and was met with some inspiration and as the weather started to clear, my gloom and doom started to lift. Had a moment at work, it involved a peculiar relationship dynamic with a coworker, but I was able to not take it as a personal and focus on what I needed to accomplish.

And take in this notion of focusing on my sphere and doing the best that I can and not worrying about what others are doing. The other night, I started writing my vision in different areas of my life…being me, my career, my health, my relationships, etc and my why to keep me accountable and motivated. I was having a hard time focusing on that this morning but I was able to turn my day around and re-focus and before I knew it, the sun was shining and I was feeling fantastic. I try to keep in mind that emotions are temporary and that if I'm feeling down, it can and will turn around, and it's okay to have these moments but not stay in them.

Note to self…go towards the truth, no matter how painful…

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”

I was listening to a sermon this morning and heard this message. I've heard it before, but it really resonated with me today. It's interesting that I have been taking in a lot of information from different sources and the same themes come up. This message is one of them. And I think the best place to start is with knowing yourself, believing in all that you can be (and truly believing, because those beliefs shape your thoughts and actions, which then shape your experiences), and then action towards the reality you want to create. I'm still in a space of unpacking old beliefs and shedding limitations that I have placed on myself, but each day sheds more layers and brings me closer to myself and vitality and peace all in one. I'm excited. Here's to success and happiness on my terms. Stay blessed.

What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?

Everything. I think the biggest lesson I can learn is not to hold back. As well as not to rush things. My mistakes happen when I am unsure of myself and hesitate/second guess or try to force things to happen as I think they should happen. Not to say I wouldn't make mistakes otherwise. But may as well go forth and do my best. And trust myself and the universe and and know that whatever happens, happens. Things will work out, if we trust them to. And continue to work.

There’s freedom in not caring…

I don't care and it feels freeing. Okay, a little context, I was doing my thinking thing about some recent happenings and then I stopped and was like, what does this matter? It doesn't. One, I'm wasting time and energy. And two, what does it matter? The situation is not going to change, no matter how much I think about it, plus I have much better things to think and care about. But I do want to extend this not caring and live and let live. One day at a time though. It's going to take some time and a lot of work to transform, but I'm starting to feel the difference. And it's getting easier to push through moments of being uncomfortable or unsure.

Another word on gratitude…

Your dominating thoughts shape your reality. So if you're are thinking and feeling a lot of anxiety and worry, you may experience that in reality, or if you are thinking and feeling happy, everything seems to go your way. Now, while I am quite the optimistic, I understand that our emotions follow cycles and so I know I won't always feel good but I won't always feel bad either. But I agree that the universe reflects back to you what you put out. I think this is where gratitude can be important. And gratitude for everything. Gratitude for the good and gratitude for the bad for there is blessing in every lesson. And I believe the more I can appreciate things in my life, the more life will give me great things to appreciate.

Uncomfortable…

I can feel myself retreating inward. It's a dangerous retreat, because this is where it's easy to get lost in rumination and insecurity. I will distract myself in a little while, but not immediately because I don't want to run from the uncomfortable feelings. I want to be able to deal with them and move on. Because I know if I just ignore them or push them away, they won't go away. They'll continue to live in my body and affect me. So I continue to work on really letting go, not ignoring so I can heal and grow.

Progress…

I'm learning to be more patient with myself and although it seems like day by day not much changes, I know that in a few weeks, months, years, I'll see how much has changed. And that person will be different from today's person. So I take comfort as I continue to learn and grow that I'll get to this place of freedom and abundance. Will I win the lottery? Unlikely. And that's not limited thinking, I don't buy lottery tickets lol. But abundance of love, joy and whatever greatness life has in store. Happy Friday 🙂

Everything you’ll ever need…

Today started cloudy but ended in sunshine! And my inspiration followed. I had a busy day with work, the work that I get paid to do but also some more emotional work, and picked up great lessons/reminders along the day. The first is that you have everything that you need to have total bliss and don't need anything else. Each one of us has arrived on this earth complete, and with all the unique tools we need to make our way through life. And it's important to know that, so we are not searching for what or who will complete us. We are already complete in ourselves. One reason I called this blog Journey of Self rather than Journey to Self was based on this notion. I did not need to find myself because my self has always been here, rather I need to uncover the layers and just let my self be. Learn and relearn, relearn again, yadda yadda…So I appreciated this reminder that we have everything we need within ourselves and our power lies within our self. But not the ego, watch out for that ego, lol.

The other lesson that hit home was this idea from Wayne Dwyer of moving from appearance to quality. Which is focusing on the quality of your life and what that means to you rather than focusing on how your life appears to others. If you focus on how your life appears, then you are giving up your power and saying that this person or these people and their opinions are far more important than your own. And you are far too amazing a human being being to give up your power like that. I want to live my life on my own terms and focus on a life of quality and not worry so much about living up to any appearances. Besides, ain't nobody got time for living lives for other people.

I'm finding more freedom in relaxing into myself and more joy in surrendering to the universe and the moment. I am not a fan of traffic but I had a pleasant drive because I just relaxed into the drive, picked out my concert songs, rolled down the windows for some fresh, humid air, took in the green shrubs on the median and sang and danced for my entire ride. It was great and I felt great. Had some thoughts come in, let them go and felt the sunshine on my face. But what could have otherwise been a frustrating drive was just fun and peaceful.

I learned quite a bit today that was helpful, especially with continuing to let go and holding forgiveness and love in my heart. And continuing on this journey of self.

The stories we tell ourselves…

This is a daily, I'll say, opportunity for me. I am working on rewriting some patterns of dialogue and on rethinking certain thoughts that go through my mind. And the stories I tell myself. We all develop these stories that we use to define us and how we navigate this world. And to an extent, what has happened to us does shape us and the identities we've given ourselves and what we show to the outside world. But sometimes we use these stories as shields or excuses to limit ourselves. And we hold on to them far too long. I have to stop replaying certain stories. To let go. At any moment, I can decide what I want my story to be.

Some days this is easier than others, but every day, I progress towards knowing that I don't have to define myself or be defined by what has happened to me. I heard a message yesterday that discussed how events don't control or lives, rather our decisions do. And I agree, life happens, but it's what we tell ourselves and decide to do that affects what happens next.

I want to be intentional, and consciously and unconsciously, have the thoughts, make the choices and decisions that only elevate me higher and to a state of love within myself and with my relationship with the world around me, no matter what life throws at me. And how hard it throws things at me. You know what? That could be another post, so we'll come back to the mysterious workings of the universe and signs later. But reminder to self: don't define yourself based on the stories you tell yourself or others tell you, define yourself with love and intention.